Three main ideas stood out to me from the reading, presentation and wiki regarding childhood sexual abuse. First, the prevalence is alarming. As a mother of two daughters, it feels unacceptable to consider that there is a 25% chance each of them will experience some type of sexual abuse. I feel like children are socialized to think about "stranger danger", but as we learned the likelihood of a family member or close friend sexually abusing a child is much higher. Additionally, the risk factors seem somehow "unfair"; essentially children in single parent or step family homes are at great risk of sexual abuse. Divorce and remarriage are such commonplace in our society; I never considered increased risk of childhood sexual abuse as a fall out of this trend.
The second statistic that saddens me is that women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse are twice as likely to get divorced. Again, it seems so "unfair" that the pain of their childhood affects their happiness in adulthood. It also highlights the importance of therapeutic intervention, both with girls if the abuse becomes apparent, or with couples when the abuse is divulged. The stress of past abuse was portrayed well in the group's case vignette: what appeared as low sexual desire did not stem from a couple relational problem, but if the abuse history had not been revealed, the secret would have continued to drive a wedge of misunderstanding and hurt between the couple.
The final statistic shed some hope for me. Binik and Hall asserted that not all people who are victimized by sexual abuse then experience sexual problems in adulthood. While I understand the correlation would not be surprising, it reminds me that individuals are so unique. Just as we learned that when counseling and LGBTQ couple we should not assume that their problems are related to their sexual orientation, I think it is important to not automatically assume that current sexual problems are the result of childhood trauma. Again, I believe emotional healing is the key to severing that correlation; as therapists we have the opportunity to help a person walk away from a legacy of pain.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Friday, April 10, 2015
Thoughts about therapy with LGBQT Clients
Two concepts really stood out to me from the first video we watched in regards to counseling LGBQT clients. First, I like the idea of a sexual orientation continuum- not just a flexible or sliding scale for how one identifies their gender, but a continuum of sexual orientation awareness. The therapist explained that the process begins with awareness, and then hopefully transitions to acceptance and then integration. She identified four main categories on this continuum:
1. Little or no awareness that the root of current sexual or relational conflict might be sexual orientation based.
2. Aware of being homosexual, but not at all accepting of it (she identified these people as homophobic).
3. Aware of sexual orientation, and accepting it in some areas of life but not all domains
4. Aware, accepting, and integrating sexual orientation into all domains of one's life
One key point she made about helping clients who are still in that first category of sexual orientation exploration is that we as therapists have the opportunity to help clients recognize the possibility and importance of gay relationships. Later she mentioned that we can try to help distill some homophobic fears by validating lesbian and gay relationships as being at "the same caliber" as homosexual relationships.
My second take away thought would probably relate to folks who are in the fourth, and maybe third stage along the continuum. I believe it was during the second video, and we also discussed this concept in class, but basically it is important to remember that LGBQT couples are likely seeking counseling for "everyday problems". I say that this is more likely for individuals and couples further along on the orientation continuum because I am hypothesizing that if someone is just beginning to explore the idea of a "new" sexual orientation, this could cause some distress in their life, and so it may be the primary concern and thus their reason for seeking counseling. However, for individuals or couples who have established their sexual orientation (at least within himself or herself), they are just as likely to be dealing with aging parents, promotions, financial struggles, and all the stressors that any other couple faces. This concept resonated with me because I think sometimes when we (or at least I) concentrate so hard on being sensitive, I end up hyper-focusing on the difference. While it is important to use respectful language and be accepting of our client's relationships and choices, that does not mean I should assume that is the reason for stress in their life, or even the "thing" they want to talk about at all.
1. Little or no awareness that the root of current sexual or relational conflict might be sexual orientation based.
2. Aware of being homosexual, but not at all accepting of it (she identified these people as homophobic).
3. Aware of sexual orientation, and accepting it in some areas of life but not all domains
4. Aware, accepting, and integrating sexual orientation into all domains of one's life
One key point she made about helping clients who are still in that first category of sexual orientation exploration is that we as therapists have the opportunity to help clients recognize the possibility and importance of gay relationships. Later she mentioned that we can try to help distill some homophobic fears by validating lesbian and gay relationships as being at "the same caliber" as homosexual relationships.
My second take away thought would probably relate to folks who are in the fourth, and maybe third stage along the continuum. I believe it was during the second video, and we also discussed this concept in class, but basically it is important to remember that LGBQT couples are likely seeking counseling for "everyday problems". I say that this is more likely for individuals and couples further along on the orientation continuum because I am hypothesizing that if someone is just beginning to explore the idea of a "new" sexual orientation, this could cause some distress in their life, and so it may be the primary concern and thus their reason for seeking counseling. However, for individuals or couples who have established their sexual orientation (at least within himself or herself), they are just as likely to be dealing with aging parents, promotions, financial struggles, and all the stressors that any other couple faces. This concept resonated with me because I think sometimes when we (or at least I) concentrate so hard on being sensitive, I end up hyper-focusing on the difference. While it is important to use respectful language and be accepting of our client's relationships and choices, that does not mean I should assume that is the reason for stress in their life, or even the "thing" they want to talk about at all.
Friday, April 3, 2015
Paraphilia Ponderings
I think the most salient thought from the paraphilia presentation is small but important: not all pedophiles are child molesters, and not all child molesters are pedophiles. I think it's a sensitive subject for most, but as a mother, I admit the hair on my neck bristles a little when I think about either category of folks. It was helpful to have my stereotypes questioned a bit, and understand that a lot of people with pedophilic disorder are actively working to fight their urge to interact with children in a sexual manner. Likewise, the discussion about reporting laws gave me a new perspective: I thought mandated reporting protects children, but if it is causing people to avoid therapy (understandably!) then its actually increasing the risk of sexual contact with minors.
I appreciated the video on the wiki explaining different types of paraphilias. It helped to normalize these forms of sexual expression. My forms of sexual expression have been fairly "normal" by most standards, but I believed myself to be pretty open minded to be accepting of other people's expression. This presentation more than any others thus far humbled me because I was invited to confront my own biases. I know that I still have (inner) work to do before I find myself face to face with a client who has a paraphilic sexual expression. I also need to continue to let the difference between paraphilias and paraphilic disorders sink in. As one of the other students so eloquently stated: I need to make sure I'm not "yucking" other people's "yum"!
I appreciated the video on the wiki explaining different types of paraphilias. It helped to normalize these forms of sexual expression. My forms of sexual expression have been fairly "normal" by most standards, but I believed myself to be pretty open minded to be accepting of other people's expression. This presentation more than any others thus far humbled me because I was invited to confront my own biases. I know that I still have (inner) work to do before I find myself face to face with a client who has a paraphilic sexual expression. I also need to continue to let the difference between paraphilias and paraphilic disorders sink in. As one of the other students so eloquently stated: I need to make sure I'm not "yucking" other people's "yum"!
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