Sexual Healing... In the First Order sort of way...

Helpful thoughts from Sexual Healing:
First off, interviewing was done well in that both individual and couple interviews were depicted; this diversity is important for letting both partners feel like they have freedom to express ideas they might not be ready to share in front of each other yet.
Some good information came from a few questions as well; it was important to know about the individuals' sexual history, what had worked well in the past, if low sexual drive was a lifelong experience or not. It was particularly helpful to know that one of the women had been sexually abused as a small child, and to walk through what that might mean in her life as an adult woman. Shawn's wife was able to comment essentially that their sexual script had reduced to a very limited number of options- again, good information for a therapist.

Now for the Critique:
Differentiation. Or the lack of it. At one point Debbie basically made a plea during her private interview for differentiation, for some space to be herself. Instead, all of the assignments involved building intimacy through fusion.  Debbie's husband, with the best intentions, asked "How do I get you started?" Two of the assignments highlighted were the "surrender date"and the rock climbing field trip. Both had elements of excitement, trust, and adventure. Both had potential to enhance a couple's relationship, but not mend it.  In the "surrender date" the husband was told to"take responsibility for both of their needs"... thereby directly contradicting her interest in greater differentiation. The rock climbing exercise was used because doing fun things- especially scary things- together, is supposed to increase intimacy.

So many of the "interventions" in the show were not inherently bad. Dates are great. Field trips to sex shops and experiments with new toys or fantasies is likely to provide a exciting experience for a couple. And doing "stuff" together like rock climbing can create fun memories. But none of these activities in and of themselves gets to the root of increasing desire by strengthening self-validated intimacy. The "success" couples experienced during their week and the clinic are likely to be first order changes that do not affect who they inherently are as couples- more importantly, who each person is as a "self, in relationship."