Thinking about sex and disabilities

So much to think about from this weeks' presentation, with helpful information that extends to both couples with all ability levels, and parenting wisdom for all families. I specifically resonated with the PLISSIT acronym that was both in Binik and Hall's book and in the presentation. It reminds me of the stages of grieving in that processing traumatic events usually requires more than one step. I think beginning with permission to resume sex and to grieve changes also highlights the balance of life: persevering and moving forward while acknowledging and grieving the things that are lost to us.

I was especially drawn to the chapter regarding people with disabilities. During my undergrad, we spent a few different days exploring the world through the lens of people with physical disabilities. I spent a day in a wheelchair trying to access public spaces. We also played wheelchair basketball and amputee soccer. We spent a final day trying to navigate the world without vision. We learned a great deal about how accessible (or not accessible) our community was. We were also inspired athletes who had overcome physical disabilities who were white water rafting, skiing, playing basketball, and soccer. But we never talked about, nor did I consider, what sexuality or sexual intimacy would look like for these people. I do not know if I would have recognized my bias of viewing these people as asexual, but I am embarrassed by this oversight. I was so impressed by the very overt accomplishments and challenges these individuals had been able to overcome, but I had failed to see them as adults with very typical desires and sexual interests. Binik and Hall reported that PWD are the largest minority group in the US; it is vital that we view these people as just that: people. Such a small part of the wiki, but one of my favorite parts is the diagram for different sexual positions for individuals who use a wheelchair. It normalized the situation and presented the obstacle in a straightforward and easily surmountable manner.